Sabar itu Payah

Apa ada pada masa hadapan?
segala2nya..
apa ada pada pengalaman?
segala2nya..
apa ada pada aku?
(scrounging)...
tadappappappaaaa...

ah persetan!!
hidup aku sekali..
mungkin ini tanda aku harus ketempat tuju yg lebih bagus?
atau mungkin ini tanda aku harus hidup bersederhana?
to what the future holds..
i leave it to my fate..
sebab aku dah buwat yg terbaik..
dan aku xpnah give up..

someday its all gonna make sense..
assured as my past has fence..
all the path that i could not follow..
there were another path which will shadow..
at which is better suited..
at which my heart feel appreciated..

dan aku percaya itu..
dan aku berfikiran optimistik..
dan aku harus bersabar..

tapi sabar itu payah..

tapi alhamdulillah untuk mereka..
mereka yg bergelar family ku..
dan dia yg bergelar 'hidupku'..
sentiasa berada di belakangku..
menceriakan hari2ku..

sabar itu hanya separuh payah

~hidup itu roda~

.Laundry.

maw hantar baju pegi dobi..
like normally i would on friday evening..
but alas..


kdai dobi da tutup..


jap..kire boxer dlm drawer..
fuh..luckily ade side a and b..


haha..



xpnah aku wat keje xsnonoh mcm tu..

haish..
xpn sok aku pegi beli boxer baru..
skali pegi mph..
novel hunting..

.About Marriage.

'He's just not that into you'..

makes me realize..
for a marriage to work..
its up to the guy to decide whether he is ready or not..
lets face it..
woman are not afraid to commit..
but guys may be a bit distance on that..

what makes him not ready though?
the chances of seeing someone better..
someone hotter..
someone who can satisfy his needs..
typical right?
be it westerners or easterners..
the case prevail..

coming from a broken family..
now it made me think..
i wouldn't want to make the same mistakes my dad made..
so i ask myself..
have I found the one?
someone that fits the equation?

the answer is.....







yes...







and she goes by the name of NADIRA..


believe me..I KNOW..


p/s: from the moment that I first saw her......there's this magic..and I can't describe it..

.Needing Nadira.

I am sorry for the way i put u through..
All the harsh words that u have to listen to..
I didn't meant to hurt u..
how could I let it slip through..
and now I am alone and blue..

please forgive me baby..
daddy loves u..

Why do Women Cheat?

Found this over the internet:-

Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

Feelings of loneliness are one of the most common reasons which lead women to cheat on their partner. Though it may seem a contradiction to say that a woman feels lonely within a relationship, she may feel that the relationship is not emotionally fulfilling. This can be particularly problematic if her partner is deeply involved with his work or his friends and leaves her to spend a lot of time alone. Balancing time between work and friends outside the relationship will help her feel wanted and stop her from feeling inclined to seek attention outside of the relationship.

Feeling Taken for Granted

While you may discuss the important day to day issues of your relationship such as work, household chores and family life, women often need to talk about more personal issues like life goals, dreams for the future and what you love about each other. This type of intimacy helps to build reassurance and stability in a relationship and will stop women from wanting to seek these important intimacies with another man.

You Are Leading Separate Lives

Though you started out on the same path together, your lives may have diverged so much that your partner feels you no longer have anything in common. If its come down to the point where she spends more time with her girlfriends than with you, it might be time to consider making an effort to spend time doing things together that you both enjoy. This will encourage her to be more attentive to you than her friends or another man who she may feel has more in common with her.

Revenge Can Be Bittersweet

If your partner has caught you cheating, then she is obviously feeling rejected, hurt and angry. If this is the case, then she may cheat as an act of revenge to try and compensate for these feelings. She may feel that she deserves to indulge herself to pay you back for your infidelities.

The Ego Needs Stroking

Sometimes women can feel insecure abut themselves and will cheat in an attempt to boost their confidence and stroke their ego. Sometimes they may feel that their partner is not giving them enough attention or attention in the way that they would like; this can lead them to seek the attention and flattery of other men which may develop into cheating.

---> Now I'm not making a sexist remark but its factual that even though women think that they are a loyalist, idealist and superior when it comes to loving compared to the male species, I have encountered few of those so called superior type whose proven that their words are wrong by their own action.

The thing that ticked me off is the last sentence. The ego needs stroking. Now woman claimed that they do not have egos and that male egos is the dastardly thing ever existed in this world. But in fact, those so called egos also lives in the lives of a woman. I can testify to that since me myself has the chance to meet these type of person (note that I'm not stating woman or man). My point is that, these flaws that female always brand the male for, actually occurs to both side of the sexes. Its just a matter who loves the other half more taking to mind that Love is suicidal.

I am wondering..why is it in any relationship there will always have a dictator?..why can't we have equality? where's the sense of sensitivity?

P/S: I have found my full stop. I hope this will work out. I pray that I will always remember the purple kebaya and not look at other dresses. I pray that this feelings affected both side that it goes straight and it goes true.

.About World.

Alhamdulillah..things has been turning for the better..

Amidst my hectic day at the office..i manage to slip a few minutes or hours to google for something thats out of my world..not because i want to turn from facing my problems at the office..just that lately a strange curiosity over famous people overwhelmed me..

I have been googling names from Greek Gods up to Sigmund Freud..well..i can say i have learned much about history and the figures behind it over these past few days and decent enough to say that i am awed by it..

The Conclusion?

Do note that this is a private opinion and it may not matter..but i realize just one thing..all these famous people..they didnt do it particularly to get recognized by a mere body of an organization or person..they did it and excel at it..because they really like what they doing..sure they have a higher IQ point that average people..but its not because of particularly that that they achieve their accomplishment..and the best of all..there's nothing mystic about them..they are all just a very normal human being except for some like leonardo da vinci who turns out to be quite the queer..haha..regardless..all of them has parents..some has bad childhood..some excel under normal supervision and condition..other than that..they are just a normal human being..

The differences between me and them?



They live a happy live living their passion..


and my passion?
other than her..well that is yet to be known...........

~~~10 little fingers and 10 baby toes~~~

.Procrastinate.

What has happend to me?..since when aku ilang sexiness aku ni?..hah!..bekerut2 aku try nk tido..xtido2 jugak..lack of sleep really changes a person attitude..bodolaa..b8r aku take my mind off of things..think happy tots..think happy tots..think tots..

sports..not sumthin that i can be proud of..aku xde achievement mnarik kat side ni..juz enuff yg aku bley main..tp plg aku minat..basketball..n fer wat reasons?..hah none other than slamdunk!..peh..gile matang aku ni..main basket sorg2 time ujan..tryin to recognize shots2..smp la 1 day..w/o even lookin at the basket..i can shoot 2 pointer..bt of coz..main sorg2 kn..so bl main ramai2..xlar hebat pn..huhu..bt im pleased ade sum1 approach n ajak join the skools team..i gez im not dat bad..ke da desperate xckp org?..dem!

then ive played petanque..i na not many na dis sports..xtaw nk pggl sports ke x..tp those were the memories dat i had..nk sijil punye pasal..kiterg 3 org join the skools tournament..wit the name "TNB Kelantan"..for watever reason kiterg choose name tu pn..aku stil wonder..tp aku ingt lg the cheers dat we got bile name team kiterg dpggl tuk trun main..gile a!..aku xpnah rase disayangi sebegitu ramai..hahahaha!..when all the other teams taruk name gile gempak..kiterg taruk name yg gile gonjeng..bt hey..i cud b proud taw..gonjeng2 pn..kiterg kalah dgn team skolah taw..hebat!

then of coz bola..dlu aku salu tendang tunjal..tataw nape..mesti nk flipkn my foot thumb b4 sepak bola..then sepak bola xtgk org..main pass je..ntah org tu kosong or x..aku xpdulik..aku xnak pgang bola lame2..tekanan beb org sme pndang ko..malu pn ade..tataw nape aku rase mcm tu..xske attention kot..bt now da xlar..taw aku xfit mane..tp i tend to use my head bl main..stil xpndai gelecek bt can plan how to move the team..jd lar..stil can score a goal o two..

skates..i admit aku minat gile skate..dat tyme lar..tp bile da jatuh tduduk n xde progress skills..aku gantung deck aku..huh..bkan mcm 2 snang aku nk let go..tp kalo da staun stgh asek ollie je..monyet pn giv up..tp tuhla..once my fren got this idea bernas..blakon jd peserta X-games..dafta name as freelance..then bila da dapt goodies2 Xgames..blah!..hahaha..stil got the bags,shirts,shorts, n some other stuff yg aku simpan kat umah..deck aku pn tah ape jadi tah kat umah tu..

so wat im tryin to say is dat..even im not dat good in sports pn..i stil got few good memories yg bley wat aku happy bl procrastinate mcm ni..aih..sjak bila aku mcm ni..aku pn xtaw..da tua makin bwat hal plak..hormon xstable lg kot..young at hearts..