.Procrastinate.

What has happend to me?..since when aku ilang sexiness aku ni?..hah!..bekerut2 aku try nk tido..xtido2 jugak..lack of sleep really changes a person attitude..bodolaa..b8r aku take my mind off of things..think happy tots..think happy tots..think tots..

sports..not sumthin that i can be proud of..aku xde achievement mnarik kat side ni..juz enuff yg aku bley main..tp plg aku minat..basketball..n fer wat reasons?..hah none other than slamdunk!..peh..gile matang aku ni..main basket sorg2 time ujan..tryin to recognize shots2..smp la 1 day..w/o even lookin at the basket..i can shoot 2 pointer..bt of coz..main sorg2 kn..so bl main ramai2..xlar hebat pn..huhu..bt im pleased ade sum1 approach n ajak join the skools team..i gez im not dat bad..ke da desperate xckp org?..dem!

then ive played petanque..i na not many na dis sports..xtaw nk pggl sports ke x..tp those were the memories dat i had..nk sijil punye pasal..kiterg 3 org join the skools tournament..wit the name "TNB Kelantan"..for watever reason kiterg choose name tu pn..aku stil wonder..tp aku ingt lg the cheers dat we got bile name team kiterg dpggl tuk trun main..gile a!..aku xpnah rase disayangi sebegitu ramai..hahahaha!..when all the other teams taruk name gile gempak..kiterg taruk name yg gile gonjeng..bt hey..i cud b proud taw..gonjeng2 pn..kiterg kalah dgn team skolah taw..hebat!

then of coz bola..dlu aku salu tendang tunjal..tataw nape..mesti nk flipkn my foot thumb b4 sepak bola..then sepak bola xtgk org..main pass je..ntah org tu kosong or x..aku xpdulik..aku xnak pgang bola lame2..tekanan beb org sme pndang ko..malu pn ade..tataw nape aku rase mcm tu..xske attention kot..bt now da xlar..taw aku xfit mane..tp i tend to use my head bl main..stil xpndai gelecek bt can plan how to move the team..jd lar..stil can score a goal o two..

skates..i admit aku minat gile skate..dat tyme lar..tp bile da jatuh tduduk n xde progress skills..aku gantung deck aku..huh..bkan mcm 2 snang aku nk let go..tp kalo da staun stgh asek ollie je..monyet pn giv up..tp tuhla..once my fren got this idea bernas..blakon jd peserta X-games..dafta name as freelance..then bila da dapt goodies2 Xgames..blah!..hahaha..stil got the bags,shirts,shorts, n some other stuff yg aku simpan kat umah..deck aku pn tah ape jadi tah kat umah tu..

so wat im tryin to say is dat..even im not dat good in sports pn..i stil got few good memories yg bley wat aku happy bl procrastinate mcm ni..aih..sjak bila aku mcm ni..aku pn xtaw..da tua makin bwat hal plak..hormon xstable lg kot..young at hearts..

.Hidup Perjuangan.

"Hidup adalah perjuangan tanpa henti-henti"
by dewa-19..

aku mental arini tuk kesekian kalinya..
aku xtaw ape yg aku nak capai balik awal pn..
n aku xtaw ape yg aku nak capai lepak Restoran PG denga engineer aku mengarut pn..
tp aku nk klua..
tuh yg aku taw..

bt now aku da kat umah..
aku da xtaw ape yg aku nk capai..
hahaha..
bodolaaaa..
susa jadi manusia ni..
xpnah puas..
instead of update resume (SUCK!)
aku tulis blog..
ape yg aku nk capai..
aku pn xtaw..

idup tanpa objective..
mcm idup dalam batu..
aku capai pulasan mak aku lg bagus..
tp ulcer la plak..
gile sakit bile die gesek kat besi..
DEM IT!
skarang ni nk senyum pn da mcm ape da..

aku mcm nk bwat sumthin yg extreme..
bungee jumping or skydiving..
kat new zealand..
sorg2 pn xpe..
lg aku suke..
tgk pics2 kawan2 aku pegi sane..
wallauweh!
saye mahu juge!
bt of coz..
aku idup dlam facts..
bukan akademi fantasia..
byk bende nk kene setel dlu..
tp tuhla..
once future aku da set..

New Zealand..here i come..

.Penat.

Im tired
Life keeps on messing with me

Maybe I shud write books
Atlez my mistakes can be corrected
And is written by only me

Jealousy, Regrets, Sad and Unappreciated
This is the feelings that i am waaayyyy better off






P/S: what shud i write?

.Sigh.

Darn it..
cant sleep for the fourth time of the week..
manage to pull up to 5hours max..
well atlez better than before..
but if these keeps on goin..
abes la badan aku..

shoots!

.Mental.

i have got a diary..
it is the place i run to rant..
made specially for me to pour my aching heart felt..
this is my void..
where all tangles are untangle..
where my knowledge is shared and my nonsense is valid..
this is my diary..

Dear Diary,
u meant a lot to me..
that u will never forsake me..
i am indebted to u..

cheers to all stress reliever...thingy!

.Shush heart ; it will past ; like it alwez did.

Org ckp..

building the foundation is the hardest part in life..

well..

it seems now..

aku terpakse agree..

sangat susah nk build foundation ni..

nk dapat tender susa..

dah dapat the tender lagi susa..

this is relationship orang kate..

ntahla..

aku ikhlaskan..

insyaAllah..

Dia maha adil..

so aku willing..

dan aku trime end resultnye..

after all qada' and qadar jugak yg akan tentukan..

hopefully akhirnya..

yg terbaik tuk aku..

akan dibagi kat aku..

meanwhile..

buatla yg terbaik tuk org lain..

pasrah..



p/s: where does the rainbow ends?

.Not Enough.

CoLd..

Stone Cold..




Life is cold..

Hadapi dengan tabah..

Hidup itu roda..

Kadang atas..

Kadang bawah..


perlukan teman bicara..

.MuSiCa.

Can't sleep..

trase sgt keseorangan..bukan xde teman..tp hanya nk dia..tp dia xde..so im shuttin myself off from the world..hah..such a loser..neway..time2 mcm ni..ape yg aku bwat?..heh..of course i turn to music..

Currently on my playlist: (while my mind wonder off to neverland)

1. After Midnight
2. Dan Sebenarnya
3. Miss Independent
4. Innocent
5. Somewhere Out There
6. Trees
7. Vindicated
8. Pari2 Di Bawah Angin
9. Stay

I na..typical..in fact aku rase xramai ske taste mcm aku..specially #4, 5, 6 and 7..fact is..aku ley kire ngan jari sape yg ske lagu2 mcm ni..not juz ske..bt smiles n humms along when he/she hears it..heh..its not sumthin yg i cud b proud of pn..to each his own rite?..ade yg ske genre lain..but me?..my soul i guess alwez have diz romantic place fer alternative bands..u na..post-nirvana nye band..i dun particularly interested in nirvana..but those bands yg developed after them..i stil found myself smiling when i hear songs from wallflower, our lady peace, oasis, suede, the verve, smashmouth etc..not many that aku cud list down..half of it..aku taw lagu je..band nye aku xtaw..bkn pasal aku xminat..tp ade certain stuff dlm life..aku ske biakn die dlm misteri..it makes it a lil mo interesting dat way..aku taw..tahpapetah..well..if aku ade philosophy dlm idup aku..it wud goes like diz..'a lil secret makes things incredibly spicy'..haha!!..had juz made diz up...sumhow likin it!

So whats makes a sounds superb in my ears?..hmm..i cud list down a few..(not gonna tho)..but the main thing is..it must have moments..like fer example..i smile on 'hitchin a ride-greenday'..cuz dat tyme i was studying (konon) fer my pmr n dat tyme sgt down..coz xdpat tgk cite ape-tah..frankly fer my pmr..aku xstadi pn..hahaha!..juz dat bile mak soh masuk bilik..yes aku masuk..n yes aku bukak buku..tp aku mniarap atas lantai mamar tu..then bukak radio cabuk mak aku punye time bujang2 dlu..(has to remember that i was raised wif pnuh kesederhanaan; no PS, no hifi..tv pn cabuk gile..)...then i wud tune it to hitz.fm..those time channel ni mantap gile..byk alternative songs die main..i loike!..bside dat tyme die satu je english channel yg gile2..(remembering flyguy)..so aku wud juz lay there n layan lagu2 dlm hitz 2..siap record kaset lg..haha..(it was a gud mix taw!..aku bet if aku jual kat pasar mlm time tu..mesti laku gile..ade bakat DJ terpendam kot..jauh melencong da ni)..but basically time aku tgh chillin konon2 stadi maut 2..ttibe kua dat song..haaaih..i stil remembered how catchy it sounded the first time hearing it..smp la ni..bt aku xcarik lg tu..aku bia je..i found it better dat way..makes me appreciate it more whenever i hear it..so everytime aku denga lagu tu pastu..mule la..buat gaye roxstar konon2 pndai main gitar..hakhak..

Neway..ape yg aku nk kate kat sini..aku sgt rindukan zaman alternative aku dlu..coz time tu la aku kuwa dari dunia aku..n those tracks dat i mention earlier..bwat aku nostalgic..hmm..bt dun get me wrong..nowadays pn stil gimme dat moment..like MUH-Pari2 di bawah angin..i dunno y but it makes me remembered prac kat kuantan dlu..not dat long ago la..bt still..stil remembered that rainy morning on which aku brunch sorg2 kat tgh bandar kuantan..kat oldtown kopitiam mkn mee kari pedas yum2!..tataw nape..tp sgt melekat dlm pale otak aku..

mayb sbb ryte now..aku keseorangan kot..

p/s: i love you

.Understanding Love.

Once

Questions keep contemplating..will i be a good lover?..will be a bore?..won't i be bored?..will my love stands through thick and thin?..will i be truly loved?..will anyone stand by my side through my ups and down?..

A question that is yet i could answer..but the glimpse of what i have with you in just these few months..makes me a believer..optimistic..

I wish i could show to you how much i am in love with you..finally..not just love..but companionship..damn me if i could understand half of what have happened..how did i get the nerves to approach you?..how did i manage to get your attention?..how did you finally manage to open your heart to me?..and lastly..why do i feel like we really do fit without me making adjustment?..

Yes..

I do not have to adjust myself when i am with you..i could just be me..and still be loved by you..this is dangerous..because now..the feeling of not having your existence right next to me..is contemplating me..

sangat perlukan kamu..

.SePi.

kosong

not feeling very well..
dont wanna talk to anybody..
sitting ere n waitin..
cant seem to get enuff of her..
n diz pics doesnt move..
i feel truly..

kosong

to love is to let go..
now im aching..
where's my 'pelangi'?
do have a great time my dear..
u deserve every moment with them..
and when we get back here..
please be mine again..

coz i am 'kosong' w/o you..

.end.

Jangan Main Remote

Ini bukan salah aku..
Bukan sebab aku tak buat yang terbaik..

Ini suma kerja Tuhan..
Dia dah tentukan tuk aku..
Cumanya..
Aku kena usaha lebih sikit dari orang lain tuk dapat apa yg aku nak..
Macam mane sebelum2 ni..

Aku bukan orang senang..
Hampir semua benda aku kena usaha lebih..
Tapi akhir jalan..
Aku tetap akan dapat yang terbaik tuk aku..

Dan aku akan gembira..

Ini semua hanya butang 'Pause'..
'Pause' bukan hakiki..